nights as days

I work nights, and I like it. This has been my mantra for some time now. A badge of pride. "I work while you and others sleep." "I give potentially dangerous drugs to your family members while you lay in your beds." stuff like that. I started doing it because I had to. I went to school full time. I needed money, and voilia, nights were available. Plus, it was the only way into the ICU at the time. So I sucked it up, and turned out it was some of the most fun and up there with the best eperiences of my life. I found my passion for the uber-sick, where it still lies today. I also found my true calling in life, cleaning blood of patients. Nothing makes me happier at work than that. Really. Just give me a job cleaning blood and I'll be happy as a clam.

Somewhere in the last few months though, I havent been so happy with nights. I cant stay up all day after working a shift anymore. I find myself up at three in the morning on the internet, doing nothing. I don't leave the house. The actions run in direct contrast my love of the Dawn (the person and the time). I love waking up super early, going for a run, a swim, a bike ride, a surf, or even a paddle. Missing the morning for me is like missing the only part of the day that matters. This plain sucks. I just cant do it. Now when I want to get up early, I find myself sleeping in until noon. this is not lazy when you go to bed at two, it's just the body going "Awww hell no." I've got a feeling that something will have to change soon, or I'll hit a breaking point. I've got to find a balance, maybe some melatonin? Who knows. I've still got some tricks up my sleeve. Nights pay well, and the nursing is fun. But change is a'coming, and I can feel it in these bones o' mine.

Norbit Meet Dave Pluto Nash.

I had a really good day today. I've been doing a little bit of journaling here and there for the last couple of weeks, and no blogging for months, so this is a keep it alive post. All past/prsent tense "errors" and the like un-erronious.
This story starts:
Thursday:

Thought I was going to drown in the Pacific during outrigger practice. Michael was scared. Afterwards, gets drunk with friends....Like turning Manhattans into shots drunk. It ok. He alive.
Friday:

Dawn nursed me back to health over the course of...well, the entire day.
Felt so sick on Friday I told my coaches I wasn't racing outrigger Saturday at Dana. Ate piece and .5 of pizza over 24 hours. And 1/8 of gatorade. Vomited everything else.

Saturday: Felt like $$$. Not going to Dana. Drive to LA instead. Saw My grandfather, the man I have more respect for than anyone in my life. Met the newest Lorentzen, taking some pressure off my brother and I to carry on genes, but still the legacy name (It's a girl). Somewhere along the way up to LA I listened to "stay what you are" for the first time in about 4-5 years and it was so good i nearly cried. Had a great afternoon with family. Drove to visit Andrea and her friends for a drink. The Garmin took me through Crenshaw and 1 hours worth of side streets. I saw a man with no legs on a dolly. I thought of Eddie Murphy. Finally found Andrea's. Had a glass of wine. Drove Back to SD, Parents in Tow. Late dinner with Mom and Dad. Bed alone. Dawn at work. :( Strangely, thought of Eddie Murphy again. got up, wrote this.

Somewhere along the past year, I learned to hate L.A. (Dodgers excluded.). Today, I saw the LA of my childhood, including an unexpected detour through the shit parts. Still, I really do love that town. (Kobe excluded)